4 Months

My lil man is not so little these days! His first summer is in full force here in the 315 and we've been out and about enjoying this fabulous weather. We went all the way to Black Lake to visit Grandpa and Cyndi's camp for a night, we've been to Sylvan Beach at least five times now, and we've gone swimming once in a lake, and once in a pool. Jack seemed to react much more favorably to the pool for some reason...maybe because the water at my dad's house was just more calm than the murky waters of Oneida Lake. And cleaner too.

It's been really hot here and while Jackie is, according to our Wonder Weeks app, currently going through one of his "leaps (major milestones/growth spurts/fussy periods in a baby's life)," he seems to be handling the heat really well. He sweats buckets, it's amazing how much little babies sweat. He is like a little heater. But as I said, it doesn't seem to bother him too much during the day. On a hot night though, by the time he's ready for bed his room gets way too hot to ever put a baby in there. We have been meaning to get an air conditioner for it but just haven't made the effort. We really only turn on the AC every week or so, so it's been easy to forget until we need it again. So on the hot nights he crashes in our room, ugh. Everyone just gets more sleep if we sleep in separate rooms. I am honestly looking forward to cooler days soon, something you rarely hear someone from this region say.

Post-swim chillaxin with Dad

He only protested when he was chest-deep in the water.

Today Cody took him to a baby shower at our friend's house in the neighborhood. I say baby shower but it really was just another party. Co-ed and lots of eating and drinking going on. I met him there after I got out of work and it was still going on at 6 pm. It must have been a sight to see - Cody walked there, so he was pushing a baby in a stroller, carrying all the baby stuff and a big frilly gift bag. How domestic! He is a good daddy, Jackie and I are both so lucky to have him. Apparently our little man made barely a peep the whole time there and was all smiles. We are lucky to have him too!

Emmy Love Baby, and SHTICK!

Loungin'.

So his four month appointment is tomorrow. Dr. Chiodi said at his two month visit that during the next one we'd talk about starting solids. I am really excited about that. While being able to give him breast milk is great, I am starting to really get over it. Last month nursing was going so well, but this month is seems to be getting harder. He is just so aware of everything around him, he gets distracted constantly and pops off, then cries, then needs to get re-latched, then over and over again. I usually just end up giving him a bottle anyway because it seems like he's not really eating much. At night he nurses great but it's because he is just so tired. He eats, then goes right back to sleep most of the time.

But pumping at work is getting old too... I just want to feel like my body is back to being mine again. I'm sure to some that sounds kind of selfish but I've tried as hard as I can for four whole months. I think the benefits, if they actually exist, have been given to him by now and he will be fine regardless of what he's eating. I think after my freezer stash runs out I will try to wean him. And I know that the first foods he eats can't replace breast milk or formula, but at least it will make things a little more fun. I am looking forward to seeing his face the first time he tries real food. And Cody cannot WAIT to give him a lime to shove in his mouth, hahaha.  

My Sweet Boy 

Current Jackie Likes:

His Lovies (small stuffed plush animal heads with little blanket bodies)
Pulling the covers over his head (as if I need anymore reasons to not sleep)
Getting his diaper changed (all that one-on-one attention)
Watching the kitties, and sometimes touching the kittie's soft fur
Splashing in the bath
Gnawing on his hands all day
Getting raspberries blown on his belly
Getting read to

Current Jackie Dislikes:

Tummy time
Rolling over (he cries when we roll him over, he's only done it one his own twice)
When anyone talks to anyone else when he's tired and/or hungry
Barking dogs
Direct sunlight
Going to sleep alone (we're just not there yet...maybe someday!)

3 Months!

My little boy is 3 months old, 2 weeks ago! Making that actual age almost 14 weeks, but I really hate referring to his age in weeks. I make fun of people who are like, "He's 29 weeks." No. Your baby is 7 months old. That is all.

Anyway, I was just upstairs rocking lil Jackie boy to sleep and once again got lost in the waves of an emotional sea. Almost drowned.

This sea seems to be motherhood, and so many new feelings overwhelm me yet again. I weep tears daily I think. I just can't seem to wrap my mind around the perfection that is my little baby boy, he's so sweet and so real.

Every day he surprises me somehow and I have grown to look so forward to my days off for different reasons now. Days off once meant a chance to relax and run errands, perhaps clean the house a little, maybe do some shopping or have lunch with a friend.

Family Outing at the Neighbors BBQ

Now days off are similar, I mean who doesn't love to have the day off, but even better are days off with no real plans made. No errands or appointments, just me and my sweet little baby. On our days of nothing we go for walks in the neighborhood, or maybe make up some activity to do, like go to the library and check out a book I don't have time to read, or like today, just a day to hold him for hours and revel in the snuggles. It's my favorite thing to do.

We just seemed to have gotten on a schedule of some sort, and it's Jackson's. He tells us when he's tired and we go by that. Easy enough, I guess. Actually, the "fake cry" I wrote about awhile ago has become his tired cry. We just couldn't figure out that at the time. Bedtime has become sort of a routine;

Jackie starts acting crazy and whiny, so one of us brings him upstairs, where we then turn on his white noise, a fan, and some music and lights for him to listen to and stare at in case he won't go down right away. Then we rock, and rock, and rock. We were religiously swaddling him up until the past few nights. He seems to be busting out of them, so it's probably time to transition to something else. He is definitely better at sleeping these days though, thank God. And here's some big news: he sleeps in his own room like a big boy! Most nights, that is. We decided to just leave him in his room one night after he fell asleep in there and he slept noticeably better that night, and so did we, so it seemed only logical to assume that we distract each other from a good nights sleep. I still wake up all the time to check the video monitor, and sometimes he still does end up in our room if we have a rough night but it sure is progress.

His old man/pout face

 My first Sunday back to work Cody was home all day by himself for the first time with the boy. I was wondering how it would go, not because I doubt his fathering skills in any way whatsoever, but because I was curious to see if he were surprised by how much work it is to try getting anything done other than tending to his needs. When I got home from work I was greeted with a happy baby and husband, and they were watching children's cartoon music videos sung in Spanish, How adorable. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "Well, I can see how you get nothing done some days." There you have it. The baby's never ending loop of eat, poop, play, fuss, and sleep is a demanding schedule after all.

2 seconds later

All ready for college

So I am still not very good at blogging on  a schedule. I just don't feel like I have the time, or memory these days to write on and on about much. But I do like sharing the photos and cute moments that happen when I can recall them. Here are some new Jackson updates:

Jackie Likes:

- Being held in a standing position in your lap - he will stand right up! Strong boy.
- Music of all kinds! He loves being sung to, it puts a huge smile on his face.
- My hair - he grabs fistfuls at a time and holds on to it tight when he's snuggling and getting             ready to go to sleep
- Paddington Bear, and his snuggly teeny blankie
- Watching lights - on the computer's screensaver, his crib soother, and his owl nightlight
- Nursing - yes, this seems obvious, but it's actually not. We had the hardest time nursing for the first two months until recently. I kept offering him the boob and he finally just latched right on right around week 9, and he actually seems to eat quite efficiently from it! He is gaining weight like a champ. That's a big deal in my book. I had given up so many times but kept pumping to keep my supply up so he could still have breast milk. Success!

The only dislikes I can think of that are different than the last time I posted, are that he hates being swaddled. Our Jackie boy is just the happiest sweetest baby ever. Except of course, for when he's not . Today was kind of funny - I was trying to get out of the house to drop him off before work at the babysitters, and he had a total meltdown about 20 minutes before we needed to leave. Basically he screamed every time I tried putting him down, and I needed to get our stuff ready for the day (there is SO much baby stuff that needs to be packed for the day - woah). So one of the places I put him was on his little activity mat, where he can look up while on his back and see toys hanging, and a mirror. Well, he saw his crying face in the mirror and was staring at it, and screaming at the top of his lungs the whole time. I just couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous it looked. He just got more upset I think, hahaha, good times.

2 Months!

goofy grins

My sweet little baby is growing up! It's happening. Each day he gets a little more baby/human-like, and a little less alien-like. I think it's safe to say we are almost done with the newborn phase, and perhaps even the "fourth trimester," as the baby books call it.

We are a long way from sleeping through the night, that's for sure...but the days of not knowing what the hell our little guy is trying to tell us are becoming less frequent, and the moments of sheer enjoyment and fun are really starting to shine through.

oh boy.

I've come to realize that pregnancy and babies come with a lot of assumptions and advice but also with not a lot of real, in-your-face comments about what it will be like when you actually have that baby.

See, no one seems to tell you the nitty gritty when you're in that pregnant state. Maybe they are worried they'll freak you out a little...or maybe they just have forgotten just how hard it can be. Or maybe it was me, the new first-time-mom-to-be, not hearing that it's really, really F'ing hard sometimes! Who knows. Now that I'm a mom though, all those blogs and articles are popping up in my facebook newsfeed though, finally. Gosh dangit, internet.

I found it strange that some days I didn't feel that definite sunshiney love that I thought I would feel having a newborn. I mean, I definitely felt an overall sense of love and connection to Jackie right away as soon as he was born, but the moments, hours, and days that he was inconsolably crying and screaming definitely made it really hard to feel much else besides exhaustion and frustration.

happy baby

But the good thing is, those days, hours, and moments have been quite rare. Even from the beginning he has been pretty mild-tempered. We have been, so far, blessed with a sweet baby boy who has occasional outbursts, but he is mainly a happy baby who loves to cuddle and interact with us.

So far, at two months old, Mr. Jackson has a whole LIST of preferences. They are probably pretty standard baby things, but anyway, who cares...here they are!





JACKIE LIKES:

- Being held, rocked, and snuggled
- Having his head and face caressed ever so gently
- Back rubs (uh-oh....Mommy may have something to do with that, and mommy probably has hours of back rubbing ahead of her!!!)
- Doggie kisses (usually)
- Eating
- His Mickey Rattle
- MommyNaps - afternoon naps on the couch snuggled up on my chest
- Early morning snuggles with Daddy
- White Noise
- The sound of the fan in the bathroom
- BINKIES. OMG. Binkies.
-Being swaddled, sometimes
-Bathtime

that is a cody face for sure!

JACKIE DISLIKES:

- Having to wait for any length of time to eat
- Loud noises/lots of noise/commotion
- The act of being buckled into anything (swing, carseat, rock & play...not having it)
- Getting naked while currently clothed
- Getting clothed while currently naked
- Being put down while in mid-snuggle
- Being swaddled, sometimes

My Smiley Guy

He finally almost fits into his onesie!
This was the first thing I bought when I found out I was pregnant.
He really looks like Cody here!

Our big boy is 7 weeks old today and reaching major milestones! Last week little Jackie Boy made his first real social smiles at us and even some giggles. He's been smiling in his sleep since day one, so we've gotten to see his potential cuteness but this really trumps it all so far. The giggling was mixed with a little crying, and sounded on the edge of majorly losing his shit over what seemed like nothing. But to him it must be something! Lots of emotions. From what we've read the 6 week mark is when babies typically "wake up" and start to realize all the new sensations around them in their huge environment. That must be intense.

To say the least, the last week or two has been quite the ride. Hours of trying to soothe the baby, and trying to soothe ourselves also is necessary. Thank goodness for hot coffee in the morning, and for our rock and play, which allows me to set him down while he's napping and take him with me into the bathroom, and I get a nice hot shower. And for being able to have a beer or two at the end of the day finally, after being pregnant for so long, is such a treat. Oh, and these brownies. I am not allowed to make them anymore because we have been eating a pan a week. Comfort-eating at it's finest in my opinion.

So this baby stuff is totally mind-blowing. Who knew that a tiny 9 pound person can have so much power over you?! The helpless feeling is felt by both child and parent much more than I ever thought before.

But really, all those tears (yes - crying REAL baby tears now) and screams are rewarded with his extra need to snuggle with us right now, and of course with those precious smiles and smirks. Jackson has even started crying what we call "the fake cry," which is just his way of saying that he isn't pleased with something. It's a cute little shrill, screamy-cry.

And during the wee hours of the morning I find myself thinking all these sweet thoughts, holding him as his face is nuzzled up in my neck and chest, listening to his breathing and coos as we rock together. I think to myself that the moment is so precious and fleeting. I tear up and think that I should remember all the thoughts and write about them so they aren't forgotten. But at 4 am, somewhere between another night of little bursts of sleep and yet another diaper change, all the exact thoughts are forgotten quickly. I don't recall them at all. All I can know for sure is that this time is so special. He won't be this way for long, so tiny and innocent and helpless right now, so we must just let him be this way and embrace him, and not forget about each other in the process.

1 Month - New Normals

It's hard to believe we've had our little Jackie Boy for a month already! Having a baby and being a parent is such a crazy-unbelievable experience. We are just taking it day by day, and everyday is different than the next. We are in no way on a schedule yet, we just go by what the baby seems to want to do. And he is such a good baby! Such a sweet little boy.

I hope I'm not jinxing myself here but compared to other's horror stories about their little ones screaming all day and night, he is fantastic, and so sweet. 

But night time can be....tough. Tough for two people who up until now, were used to just crashing when they felt like it and sleeping soundly through the night, and waking up feeling rested in the morning. Like normal people.

Well, I guess this is our new normal. Everything is now harder and more complicated. It's a hard fact to get over but we are doing the best we can to accept that this is our new normal and the days of us doing whatever we feel like, are GONE. So with that said... 

Some nights are easier than others to get through, and we are clinging onto the fact that eventually babies do sleep through the night! Not like we expect him to yet, I mean, he is a baby after all. But the hope is there that he eventually will. Currently he wakes up about 3-4 times a night and on a good night, goes back down to sleep without much of a fight. A bad night (like last night, *yaaaaawn*) means he wakes up every hour and a half or so to eat, cry, poop, fart, and/or demand that we co-sleep with him. 

We don't like the idea of co-sleeping at all really (although it does feel so nice to cuddle with him on my chest for hours at a time), but there is a point during the night, usually early in the am, when it's just easier to let him sleep with us in bed because we REALLY need to go back to sleep, or risk being extremely sleep-deprived the next day. Normal, right? 

Anywho, here are some of my favorite photos from our first month with the boy. He has already changed so much! 

Hi.

"I'M BATMAN"

Jackson Cody - melting hearts since day one

Mom thinks it's okay to change me in the car...WTF?

I have had one real, full-submerge bath so far in life

This is the one successful attempt so far in using our baby wrap. We try everyday to use it so Mommy can maybe get a few things done around the house. Fail.

"Bring me to the light, Mother"

A little puke never hurt

Baby Time!

Weight: 7.1 lbs

Length: 19 inches

Finally, he is here!!!

I have been meaning to write this post for 3 weeks but have been so busy I just am getting around to doing it now. Who knew that babies are so much work??! I had no idea...

Jackson Cody Law made his grand debut at exactly 39 weeks old. He came into this world a lovely little bundle of joy for all of us on Sunday March 8th at 3:13 in the afternoon and we've never been happier to get such a pleasant surprise. 

Helloooooo BABY (I am so glad you have a real birthday now, not a scheduled one)!

Birth Story:

In a nutshell, we went out for a luxurious "last supper as kid-free people" on the Saturday before he arrived. We ate a lot of really rich exotic foods and hung out in the restaurant for three hours...it was really a treat and I am SO glad we went out for that dinner, because it will most likely be awhile before we ever do that again. 

By the time we got home from the restaurant I was feeling really crampy and wired. We went right to bed around 11 pm and I laid there awake til about 2:30 with what felt like possible mild contractions and him moving all over the place and stretching out inside of me. I considered about a half dozen times calling the doctor but I really didn't want to have to wake someone up at 3 am only for them to grumpily tell me it was false labor and send me home. 

So instead I took some Tylenol and tried to sleep. In the morning I woke feeling better but still kind of off. My stomach was upset (big surprise, again, haha) and the contractions kept coming. We were watching a movie and in the middle of it I decided enough was enough and took a bath. My thoughts were, if the bath made the contractions stop and I relaxed, I would get back on the couch and rest, and if not - we'd call the doctor. Bet you can guess what happened? 

So, we called the doctor and of course they said to get to the hospital asap. So we got dressed and grabbed the hospital bag just in case...but we were positive we'd be going home that day sans baby.

Once there I was hooked up to a monitor and we were left to watch the contractions come and go by ourselves for about an hour. It was really nice to lay in bed and have no distractions, the ob floor was so quiet.. The nurses seemed happy to have someone come in and pay attention to, because there were literally NO other patients on the floor. We had the whole place to ourselves. Finally, the doctor came in and watched the monitor. The contractions were about 15-20 minutes apart. "Well, let's do it today," he said, very nonchalantly. I was like, "you mean, the c-section??!" Yes, he meant get the baby out, Laura...duuuuh. Basically they wanted to make sure I didn't go into full-blown labor because baby boy was breech, and it would be an emergency c-section if that happened.

So he did. It all happened so fast, it was such a whirlwind. Within an hour and a half Cody was dressed in scrubs and I was in the OR  (trembling and sweating all over the place), and simple as that, they got that baby outta me. All in all the surgery took probably a half an hour I think? And I'm counting them trying to get the spinal in my back, which took a handful of tries and was kind of painful. The pressure in my abdomen as my guts were moved all around (sorry for the graphic mental picture but it's true) was really weird and uncomfortable, and I think the most pain I felt was oddly in my right shoulder. It felt like I was having muscle spasms and hurt really bad during and after the surgery. 

But boy, oh boy, our baby was out! Thank God. And he is perfect, and beautiful, and the cutest thing I've ever seen. He got perfect APGAR scores, and hearing him cry for the first time was unreal. That was OUR baby crying, I realized upon hearing it. Finally he felt like a reality instead of this weird idea in my head. 

The feeling of relief and joy knowing that he had made his way into the world, healthy and squirming around was literally the best feeling ever. I cried tears of joy laying on the OR table all by myself in front of a bunch of strangers (they whisked Cody and the baby to the recovery room pretty quickly), and I didn't even care. It just felt so good.

So all in all, I have to say baby Jackson's birthday was the best day of my life. It was kind of a blur due to all the excitement going on, plus the pain meds I was on didn't help...but I just recall feeling like it was the best day ever and going to sleep that night with Cody on one side of me in his fold-up cot and the baby on the other in his little plastic bassinet I felt like nothing else in the world mattered.  

37 Weeks

This is my sad attempt at looking professional at this point. I had to do a massage event at a hospital yesterday and this was all I could come up with. Note to self - next time invest in a pair of dress pants, or at least nice dress jeans.

Pretty sure this is one of the last times I am ever wearing jeans during the rest of this pregnancy! The baby feels so low in my pelvis that anything with a waistband basically makes me feel like I'd rather be wearing nothing. Pants should be optional for pregnant women...

I just went out and bought big sweatpants at Wal-Mart, then got them home to find out they were still too small, so I cut them down one of the sides to make more room. That was sad.

As much as it's gotta suck being huge and pregnant in the summer, at least dressing ones self must be easier with airy light dresses and tops. This weather is really getting out of hand. It's been negative 20-something for the past couple of weeks. We did get a couple days last weekend where the temp shot up into the 20's, so it felt super warm out. Crazy to think that is actually what we get used to around here! I find some comfort in picturing laying on a hot sunny beach in a bikini, and of course taking nice breezy walks in the sunshine around our block with the baby. 

We had another doctor's appointment today, along with another ultrasound. Everything is looking good. The baby is still breech, but I'm beginning to no longer care about whether I have a section or not. The scheduled date is keeping me going (15 more days!) and the more time I have to think about it, the more excited I'm getting and less nervous. The receptionist and sono tech today at the office told me if you can get a scheduled C-section, it's the easiest thing ever. Everything is quiet, they make a few cuts, and out comes your baby! Emergency and surprise ones are tough because usually they happen after laboring for hours on end. So I'm glad we get to skip that part. 

While making my appointment for next week I asked the receptionist today about whether or not we'd have another sonogram, and she said she's fairly certain there won't be another one scheduled. At my appointment today during the sono all she did was check for position and again, measured the amniotic fluid and the space around the baby, and said he had a "good strong heartbeat." No fetal growth measurements taken, no confusing worried looks, and the doctor did nothing but come in, say hi, check for the heartbeat with the doppler, and took a measurement of my belly. When I asked if it was okay he just replied, "Yup, you're good!" So I'm assuming once again, that the if the staff at the doctor's office doesn't seemed concerned with anything regarding the baby's health/size, then neither should we be. 

So I have officially 7 full shifts of work left to get through. Well, actually...they are not full shifts. My lead at work shortened my hours to six hour shifts, with a break in the middle of each one. So basically the most I can get booked is five clients per shift. Not so bad. Maybe I'll even get lucky and it will be kind of slow the last week.