28 Weeks

Puppy Love

Merry Christmas!

I wanted to update this all week but have been so busy shopping, working, and cooking that I haven't really had time til now. And actually I'm a bit pressed for time right now too, since we have family staying with us, but here's a quick, semi-update (and I will do another update as soon as I have time).

28 Weeks:

HELLO THIRD TRIMESTER!

It's official - just three months to go. Wow...that went by fast. It feels like just a few months ago I found out I was pregnant. Now here I am saying I'm all two-thirds of the way prego and stuff. I am feeling really really excited mixed with a lot of nervous thoughts about all we have left to do to get ready for the baby. And of course a little nervous about how the heck a baby is going to come out of....that. Eek.

I find it's most helpful to just not think about that part at all. Whatever happens will happen and that's the way it's gonna go. We pretty much have decided that no birth plan is our best plan. I'd like to go to the hospital with no expectations other than that I will be leaving it with a newborn. All the crap women talk about regarding the "dreaded Pitocin" and playing music during the delivery, and "he broke my water before I was ready!!!!" -  aint nobody got time for that.

I had a little talk with my doctor about it and he said that while you can have a birth plan in mind (and you can even download one from the internet if ya want and bring it with you to the hospital), nature usually has her own plan. And she does what she wants. So that's what made the most sense to us. Let nature run it's course for as long as possible, and if it's not working out the way the doctors want to see it, let them intervene. I have no reason in mind not to get an epidural; I' don't really have a high pain tolerance and I also don't feel the need to be in excessive unnecessary pain, nor to do things "the all natural way."

Being pregnant is seriously hard enough. Along with how physically demanding it is, there are a million conflicting opinions and endless information readily available on what is right and what is wrong, and people just LOVE to shove that crap down your throat. People who don't know you will tell you not to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk and "make sure you're not eating any soft cheeses, honey", etc. My favorite line I've heard so far is "Don't fall!" Yes, thanks for that. I was planning on falling at some point, definitely while pregnant, but now I won't thanks to you.

I have been fairly sensitive to everything people have said to me for the last six months and can't even tell you how many times I've been scared I've done something wrong and that it may have hurt my baby.  I wonder if the doctor's office talks about how "the crazy paranoid lady just called again," after I call with a weird question that I feel only they can answer for me. The pregnant woman's head (well, at least MINE anyway) is already full of  "what if's" mixed with fear of the unknown, on top of  everything society tries to hammer into our brains. In a nutshell,. it just makes it kind of  suck for people like me.

So sometime over the last month I have just gotten fed up with listening to anything that other's tell me, unless of course it's coming from a trained PHYSICIAN, or is positive encouragement, or the ever-welcome compliment of how great I look. So if you're reading this, and you get the urge at some point during the next two-ish months to tell me to back away from the bleu cheese-laden buffalo dip, or want to comment on my possibly too small or too large pregnant physique, please be ready for me to pay you a similar comment (unless of course you are a pregnant person - I would never do that to you).

Anyway, whatever it is you are celebrating I hope you all have a great holiday and a happy new year!!!






 

25 Weeks

25 weeks. 14-15 weeks to go? March 15th is coming up. I can't really believe that in just a few months we'll have a little baby on our hands! Crazy how fast time flies. I can't say that I've been having a BLAST being pregnant this whole time, but really it hasn't been so bad (so far).

I always thought people who said being pregnant gives you "nine months to get used to it" were just being preachy and I never believed them. I thought to myself that I'd probably hate every second of being pregnant and it would be the longest nine months of my life. But not true, at all. Well...maybe slightly true, cause there have been horrible days where I felt really awful and just wanted to lay in my miserable bed all day and hate on anyone who talked to me or got near me (sorry Cody). But mainly it's been pretty easy, and truly speaking, you really do have lots of time to get used to it.

Six months ago the thought of having my very own baby to take care of terrified me, while now it is an exciting fantasy. I can't wait to be a mom and hold my little guy and do the whole breastfeeding and burping thing and diaper changes and well...just take care of him. I'm not assuming it's going to be easy, but am just really looking forward to it.

And the pregnancy has really forced me into taking care of myself as well. Before I got pregnant I would eat when I felt like it (aka skip breakfast and/or eat dinner at 10 pm), smoke like a chimney, and drink like a fish most weekends. My smoking habit at least was kind of curbed by the time I got pregnant. Pretty much each day I would only have one cigarette, in the car, after work on the way home. But on the weekends, all rules went out the window because of course I drank more on weekends and the two go hand in hand.

But I must say putting a stop to those bad habits has made me feel so good and healthy. I wake up (almost) each day feeling rested and great, and there is no rebound scratchiness in my throat every Monday like there usually was in the past, and no headache on Sunday mornings from boozin' it up the night before. I do miss the occasional cigarette still, when the mood strikes, but since day one I've found it pretty effortless to completely quit cold turkey, and I plan on staying smoke-free after the baby comes too. Now THAT is probably going to be a tough one. I must stay strong!

Now onto other things. So something funny happened to me almost a couple of weeks ago now. I'm making sure to document it here because I have a feeling I may forget it, as it already seems to be way old news. Maybe in the future I'll look back on this and get to compare one pregnancy to the other, or have it here to show it to a friend whose going through something similar in her pregnancy. Are you reading, future pregnant friend? Good.

So. I was leaving work and walking out of the resort on Saturday night and felt something pull in my upper leg/groin region and then got all crampy for the remainder of the night. It was really uncomfortable but I just chalked it up to being ligament pain and achiness from being on my feet too much that day. So I went home and got on the couch the rest of the night then went to bed, where I woke up repeatedly from what felt like period cramps.

In the morning I still had them, and I remember reading a "call your doc if this happens" list somewhere and menstrual-like cramps were on it. So I called the doc, who then suggested that since it was Sunday and the office was closed, that I go to the hospital and get checked out by someone in maternity. Which I would have done per his orders, but I had to get ready for work, and I really hate calling in - especially last minute, and I was trying to avoid getting stuck with a big hospital bill. So I decided against his advice and went to work instead. Stupid me. That was a mistake. I was just as, if not more uncomfortable there and ended up leaving in a rushed panic after not even a couple of hours because the cramping was still going on steadily and I started feeling weird pressure in my pelvis.

When I got there they hooked me up to a fetal monitor, and a contraction monitor. I actually was having small "pops" of contractions they said, which scared the crap out of me! I assumed that it was just going to be a "better safe than sorry" trip (which it really ended up being) and that nothing was actually happening, but the pains I felt were real and just went to show me how important it is to really listen to my body, and of course to my doctor. The contractions they told me were happening probably because I wasn't drinking enough water and maybe due to pulling my hip the night before. And they also said ligament pain was surely to blame for all the discomfort.

So in a nutshell, we stayed there for an hour or two and they made me real comfy and had me drink an entire pitcher of water, and then sent me on my way. When we got home Cody built me a "nest" as he calls it on the couch and waited on me all day, bringing me beverages and snacks. He is such a good sport. Over the course of the day I was still feeling crampy but it was pretty much all gone by the time bedtime rolled around, and I was back to normal. So now that THAT happened I am taking extra care to at least double my water intake every day and to rest when I need to. The hip pain is almost all gone thankfully, too. Phew, that was pretty scary. Lesson learned.

Other than that there really hasn't been anything crazy to report. Still feeling tons of baby kicks all day everyday, and they still haven't gotten old. The belly is getting bigger and bigger every single day, and I finally am starting to fill in those cute maternity tops that Mindy gave me, which looked scarily large the first time I laid eyes on them. And somehow I still am able to sort of squeeze into a few non-maternity shirts too. I guess this is what they call the "cute" phase of pregnancy, haha.

Quite a drastic change in belly size since the last pic I posted

Christmas will be here in a flash, and by some miraculous force I seem to be almost finished with most of my shopping already. We put some lights up last weekend for our Thanksgiving get together just to make the house pretty, but won't actually decorate everything and put up a tree til next week. I am looking forward to that, I love Christmas.

Emmit Love Bump

And then there's this guy. My little Emmy seems to sense what's happening, some days that is. He is acting lethargic and snuggly and protective of me most of the time, and then there's still the occasional moment where he almost steps on my entire body because I'm in the way of something that he needs. Mack is completely oblivious still, that little f***er. He's still a puppy though. I am nervous of how things will go down once we have the baby, I must admit, but a lot of people say that dogs instinctively "know" to be gently with babies. I sure hope they are right. I know they both will be getting a rude awakening when we first bring him home and get kind of left out for a bit, but I'm sure they'll adjust accordingly, and we'll still have time for them too. If we have to keep them in their cages more at first, that is just what we'll have to do. 

Now onto the name game. I do believe hell must have frozen over because over the course of the last week, Cody and I have found a name we both love! Nothing is set in stone yet, but as of right now our top pick is Jackson. Jackson Cody Law. Sounds like a little cowboy, and is a very strong,  masculine name to grow into. I love it, Cody loves it, Jackson Hole and Cody both are beautiful places out west; It's a solid name. I do hate the idea of choosing a name before we see the baby, so we aren't "announcing it" or anything, but plan on having three top name choices to pick from, then choosing our favorite once he is born. Our second choice is James Cody Law, aka Jamie. As far as Cody's concerned though, it seems to be a done deal.

Anyway, that's all for this update, I will post again before Christmas!

  


 

Week 23

Taken last week at 22 weeks

23 weeks down, just 18-ish more to go! Sounds like a long time, but I have a feeling it's going to go by real fast. The pregnancy itself for the most part is going by very fast and I am happy to report that it seems like just a month or two ago I saw those two lines that began this amazing journey. I'm only guessing, but it will probably be terrifying when we start counting down from 10 weeks left. Or maybe it will drag...waiting around for it and all. We shall see.

Baby is kicking harder and more frequently everyday now, which is just awesome. I haven't had any of those "low fetal movement" days in a few weeks now, thank goodness. Those suck. I have read not to fret over not feeling the baby kick all the time but it's really hard not to. And I also read that the bigger the baby gets, the less you may feel it move, due to the lack of room in there. So I'll just have to remember that for the future. The orange juice trick works just about every time for me. Everytime I drink it he starts kicking immediately. 

I have started sleeping exclusively on my side these days. I know the doctor told me I don't have to do that until I am really big, but it makes me nervous to lay flat on my back for too long, so I just don't. And the other night I was just resting on my back for like 10 minutes and I swore I started to feel lightheaded. Don't know if that's possible yet, since I'm really not big at all, but better safe than sorry in my book. 

Plus sleeping on my side isn't as bad as I thought it would be. Usually I can't stand side-sleeping cause it bothers my neck and shoulders, but using a million pillows propped under me in all the right places makes a world of difference. I haven't been having my typical upper back pain at all, in fact. Really the main aches and pains I have are in my feet. They absolutely KILL after a long day at work. And my hips have been bothering me at night and in the morning especially. Must book prenatal massage like, now. I think the extra weight around my belly is starting to actually impact them. 

Speaking of bellies - my new belly is kind of cute! I have put on 15 pounds so far and feel good about it. Pretty proud of that right there. I have to admit it's a little scary watching the numbers change on my scale so quickly, but not nearly as scary as I thought it'd be. I've always had weird body issues, so I never thought I'd have a yearning to get larger in the belly. But it really feels good...healthy in a robust, alive kind of way. My bump is clearly a baby right now, as opposed to the last few months of just looking like I was getting plumper around the middle. I kind of tried to hide it for the majority of the pregnancy, just because I wasn't too fond of the change in my waist yet, but now my baby bump is flaunting itself all over the place. All hail to the bump.

The one thing I have to say is an extremely unpleasant sensation I've been getting is when I have stabby pains in my groin. I believe they refer to this as "Round Ligament Pain," or essentially, my uterus stretching to make room for the growing baby. Ouch. And sometimes when I'm laying down he kind of balls up over to one side of me, and you can literally see the baby curled up in a ball in my belly. It's a weird uncomfortable pressure feeling and it's very alien-like. 

And here's some exciting news - Cody is now able to SEE the baby kicking from the outside! So 

cool. Also alien-like.

Before.

And of course the little baby room. We won't be setting up the crib anytime soon, based on how we'll need the space for company during the holidays, plus it's just too early. Setting up the crib seems like the last thing we should do. In my superstitious mind, it feels like a jinxy project to get into so early. So we may just hold off on that til March. But we were all ready to repaint as soon as we found out the sex. 

We wanted to give it a cozy, relaxing feel, but nothing too drab or "baby themed," if that makes any sense. So we, actually Mom & her boyfriend Dave (THANKS A MILLION), painted it. They primed over the bright yellow paint in one day and slapped the wall and ceiling paint on a few days later, saving us a big headache and tons of time. They did it all in just a few hours. I'm sure it would have taken Cody and I two days at least. 

The bright blue on the ceiling was a little scary to commit to, but it was an idea I saw on Pinterest and we both just were drawn to it for some reason. We picked out the paint and then went home, where I then had paint-buyer's remorse for the next 12 hours. I was like, "Um, is pregnancy making me lose my mind? Why would I want to put blue on the ceiling, what was I thinking?" But Mom and Cody convinced me it was a good choice so we just went for it. And I'm glad we did. The walls look white in the picture below but they're actually a soft gray. The ceiling is actually much more mellow in person, and really gives the room the vibe we were going for. Soothing, bright, cozy, relaxing, fun, and whimsical - all traits I hope to see in our little guy.

After.
Love it!

Baby Thoughts

As I sit here mowing down my lunch of a monster turkey reuben, surfing the web, trying not to get sauerkraut juice all over the keyboard, I am distracted by the millions of thoughts running through my mind. So I decided to try and clear my head by writing today.

My house is quiet and peaceful, yet cluttered with junk all over, and dust and fur balls are clinging to everything. I am distracted by them too but really don't feel motivated enough to clean anything at all. We've been on a pretty regular schedule of deep cleaning just about every couple weeks; vacuuming, mopping, dusting. But it gets gross by the end of the second week, where we are currently. Oh well.

And as I sit here and write this, having finished my sandwich, the deep thud of the baby's kick still pleasantly surprises me even though he's been doing that for five whole weeks (but getting bigger and stronger each day now). It's as if he's giving me a high five for the deliciousness that somehow immediately reaches him. It's so weird, and amazing, how that happens every time I eat something.

I keep thinking in my head, that I can't wait to meet you little baby boy. I keep staring at your pictures on the fridge, admiring your cute little button nose and how curious you seem to look in my favorite one, the one with your hands clasped. You are gonna be a cutie, that's for sure.

It sounds weird to say but I feel like the reality of my pregnancy is finally starting to set in. Somehow I just didn't get the excitement for the first twenty weeks or so that is now coursing through my veins. I guess it just didn't seem like it was really happening, even though it clearly was from day one.

My belly is starting to feel like a balloon, and I am pretty sure that every single day it gets just a teeny bit bigger. I was getting dressed this morning and noticed that even if I tried really hard to hide my baby bump, it would be nearly impossible at this point. Which is a good thing of course...I just wish I had some winter clothes to wear that accentuate it. I have a ton of shirts that are all perfect for warm weather, which are not the most practical thing to wear right now. I meant to go shopping today for maternity sweaters but it just didn't happen. I got distracted by all the other stuff that is distracting me, and now I have no time or energy left in the day to make the thirty minute drive to Motherhood & Maternity. Oh well.

I feel like there is so much to do, it's overwhelming and instead of being proactive and accomplishing something, I go all OCD on everything at once, and nothing really gets done. We need to paint the baby's room. Oh but first, I need to get my ass off the couch and fill the TWO HUNDRED nail holes that are covering the surface of the walls (the last owners of this house apparently were hoader-types, and hung a lot of their hoards on the walls). And then after that is done, I need to clean the dust and dirt off the walls, but I really don't want to, because my winter rashy skin is already here and it will hurt to put my hands in a bucket of hot soapy water. White girl problems. I hope our baby isn't as sensitive as I am.

And I need to finish our baby registry. I haven't even step foot in a store and it's seriously overwhelming to even look online at stuff. How the hell should I know what is going to be useful right away? And how many bottles do we need? And nipples? Which ones???! Ahg...so many choices. What the hell comes and does not come with a breast pump? And can I just sanitize bottles in the dishwasher? Breast pumps are so expensive. I don't really want to technically ask someone to get one of those (or anything really pricey for that matter) but at the same time I know we probably could use a little help right about now, and a breast pump is one thing I shouldn't go without. Everything adds up so fast.,..it's painful to think about.

Anyway, this seems to be my brain, on pregnancy hormones. I am trying to nest but it seems very cluster-f***. Oh well!

I am going to go lie down now and get some kicks in with my baby. :)

 

20 Week Ultrasound

Cody and I patiently waited for yesterday to arrive; the day we got to see our little bundle of joy again for the first time in three whole months. While October is my favorite month, it was a rough one for me. The upcoming ultrasound was literally ALL I could think about since our last doctors appointment. Which of course set myself up for tons of jokes at work and home about my very apparent "pregnancy brain." Dropping stuff, tripping over things, distracted driving, forgetting the most obvious stuff ever. But it was and still is a real condition. Pregnancy Brain - my excuse for being semi-absentminded for the next 4.5 months. I'll take it.

Oh Hello, what are you doing up there?

Well the jig is up - It's a BOY!!! A beautiful little 11 oz. baby boy who was just as excited as we were yesterday; he wiggled and flipped through pretty much his entire sonogram. I think that may have had something to do with the sugary cereal and banana I ate right before we went to the appointment, topped off by a cup of coffee, but who knows.

I was not surprised at all when the ultrasound tech moved the wand over his legs and groin and we saw what were clearly the anatomical parts of a boy. A boy!!! I knew it the whole time, what'd I tell ya. I would've been thrilled with a girl too but I've always wanted a boy, and even forever ago I knew that I would have lots of them. So that makes a total of FIVE boys in the Law household now, if you count animals as members of the home, which we do. Cody, Oscar, Otto, Emmit, Mack, and now Baby.

I hope our second child is a girl, but I also have a feeling I''ll be cursed to a life of all boys. And I'm okay with that too. I like boys.

Also the best news of all is that everything on the ultrasound looked absolutely perfect. Two hands, two feet, fingers, toes, eyes, nose and mouth all visible. Brain and spinal anatomy were right where they should be, along with his weight (but how the hell do they know the weight???). I could feel a huge wave of relief roll over me when she said that and then got all teary eyed and sappy. And now here I am doing it all over again! Oh god haha.

19 Weeks & Counting

Still hanging out here in the second trimester.   *cue elevator music*

I must say, pregnancy is kind of boring while at the same time being the most exciting time ever. A new person that YOU MADE is just cookin' away, kickin' away, and makin' you feel weird. You can't do anything fun like go on roller coasters, eat any your favorite foods, or stay up all night partying. Booooooring. But, soon enough this little thing will make it's debut...forever changing life as you know it, and from what everyone always says, vastly improving it in more ways than you ever could think possible.

But til then we must wait.

Patience is something I really have never had much of. Hopefully once I have a child to raise, that will change...? Should be interesting.

Our 20 week sonogram is on Halloween, next Friday, exactly 10 days away, but whose counting. I am about to explode with anticipation, exitement, and nerves. All I have on the brain is babybabybaby. It's been that way pretty much the entire pregnancy anyway so far, but exponentially more over the past few weeks. We finally get to see our little baby again and check on it's development and find out whether we're having a boy or a girl. Can't wait!

All I can do is just think positive healthy thoughts and stay busy. I ask the universe/god/whatever you call it every night just for nothing but a healthy baby and the ability to handle whatever life may throw at me these days. It seems to help with my anxiety a little...and the baby kicks getting stronger and stronger of course really makes me happy and reassured that our little one is healthy and happy too. Staying busy over the next week shouldn't be too hard, since I picked up a few extra shifts at the spa, so that's good.

Cody and I have started "nesting." Or maybe I should say I have started nesting, and he is going along with everything I want to avoid any kind of crazy hormonal pregnant lady fights, haha. So far we refinished a dresser in a light robin's egg blue and it is SOOOOOO adorably precious. It was Cody's beat-up old dresser that he brought to our first apartment, and actually - come to think of it, he used up until last year. I always picked on him for still using a little boys dresser (it's super small) but am now stoked that we held onto it and get to use it all over again.

Also we bought a dishwasher a couple of months ago at a great price from Lowe's and my dad just finished installing it last weekend. It looks awesome and seriously will be a huge help. It was something I've wanted for the past two years. They just make life so much easier, especially when you are like me and can't stand to look at piles of dirty dishes on the counter. Nesting is kinda fun.

Another topic - everyone's favorite question to ask me is - "Any names picked out?" And the answer - yes. Lots of them. I actually started a baby name list years ago, way back when I couldn't even fathom the idea of spawning off any kids. It just has always been fun to think about names. So on my list right now are about 20 boy names and 20 girl's. And they are all irrelevant in Cody's eyes, since he won't play the name game til we know what we're having. CodyNoFun...that should have been his name.

Talk To The Bump

Ninja Kicks

So exciting! I was lying in bed this morning, and I felt tiny baby kicks coming from where I'm guessing my uterus is. Definitely not gas, definitely not a weird pregnancy cramp. It didn't hurt, just kind of felt like some light pops here and there. I read this week is when I might be able to feel it. Since week fourteen I have been noticing some weird feelings in there but it was hard to figure out if it was the baby or just gas bubbles or something. Weeeeeeeeeeeee baby kicks!

Almost Halfway!

Three and A Half Generations!

Woah, time sure is flying by. Can't believe it's October already, and pretty soon, we'll hit the halfway point of the pregnancy! So awesome. The first trimester really flew by, but that makes sense, since for the first month I had no idea I was pregnant. Now to see how long the second trimester takes to tick away. Please go fast, ok?

Not much really to write about lately. Pregnancy is getting easier (er, sometimes?) and fall is in full swing, meaning I am a happy lady. Fall is my favorite season...sunny cool days, burning foliage filling the world with festivity, apple pie, pumpkin spice lattes, and cozy clothes. Yes, I am THAT girl who is obsessed with fall. Pretty sure everyone who lives in upstate New York kind of is though, right?

Eighth Lake State Park

I'm very pleased to have gone up north now three times so far during my pregger days. Twice kayaking on Moose River, and yesterday just driving around looking at the leaves at their peak. Actually I think we missed the peak of their color by a few days but that's alright...they were still gorgeous and I just saw them right before that on Monday too.

Hopefully the baby will be a lover of the Adirondacks and all things nature just like Cody and I, and he'll appreciate his first travels someday - even if they were in the womb and he had no idea what was going on. There will be pictures to show him at least. Here are a few:

Fun In The Woods

Bumpin' at 16 Weeks

It was really nice yesterday cruising around and catching up with my mom, aunts, grandmother, and cousin. Once again, everyone is REALLY excited for us. It's great. And it's so reassuring to know that we have such a fantastic support system within both of our families. Last week Cody's parents, sister, and her kids came to up to visit from North Carolina and we had such a blast all week hanging out together. Mindy even brought us a crib, carseat, and other miscellaneous baby stuff too. I feel so lucky; boy this kid is gonna be loved real hard! 

And speaking of boy, if you haven't noticed I still seem to be referring to the baby as a 'He." That feeling of a boy is still lingering. Sometimes though I think I get this weird wave of "girl," too. I can't explain it. I guess in my mind thinking about her/him I just refer to it as one of the other, and that's the feeling. Very odd. But we get to find out in just a month (Halloween, to be exact). Absolutely cannot wait. 

At our next appointment during the sonogram not only do we find out the gender, but we'll be having the big anatomy scan, which will check the baby's growth and development so far. I am so excited but at the same time so nervous. I keep having to remind myself, "things are fine, everything will be fine no matter what Laura," but some days it's just harder than others. So much can go wrong. I can't wait to get this baby outta me so I can just feel normal again. Or semi-normal, I suppose, because after it's out I'm sure I'll worry about the baby. Is it normal to feel like a nervous wreck? Ugh. 

We had our third prenatal visit today. It was very uneventful aside of course from the awesome doppler hearing the baby's heartbeat. The doctor found it immediately, and he said it sounded perfect. It's such a cool feeling hearing the heartbeat. I tried keeping a straight face while we were listening and it was impossible not to burst into a big smile. Somehow even though I've been knowingly pregnant for three months it's still hard to believe there is life going on and growing up in there. What a miracle.

Hellooooo Second Trimester

Thirteen Weeks

We are officially done with the first trimester! Well, according to half of what I read on the internet and in books anyway. It's all so confusing. Some tell you it's over once you hit twelve weeks, and others say not til week thirteen is over. Well, I am halfway through week thirteen, so therefore I SAY I am finally in the safe zone of the second trimester (and I said that last week too). Woohoo - we've done it!

Last Friday was our second doctor's appointment, and we got to hear the nice loud thud of it's heartbeat again...what a wonderful sound. So all is looking good so far they said. In another couple of months we will get a second ultrasound and will be able to find out the sex. Can't wait! I personally have ZERO preference on gender...all I am wishing for more in the entire world is to have a healthy baby that cries loud and strong once it's outta there. 

And perhaps a hairy one too...cause I have been having a lot of heartburn. And according to the ever-wise internet, that old wives tale about heartburn equating to a full head of hair on your baby has actually been proven true. At least it won't be for nothing! I can smell heartburn on food now...that is actually a thing. I can just sniff it out and make the decision to pass on eating it or suffer through it because it will be worth it.  

Eleven Weeks/
Dumpy Pants

So that's pretty much it. If you see above in the photo I am rocking maternity jeans. I compared this photo to the last one at eleven weeks and I think I actually look slimmer in the one above. I'm giving credit to the jeans vs. the dumpy track pants I had on in the last one. So note to self - don't wear dumpy clothes. I like the new belly...it's just beginning to "pop." I can't wait til it actually looks like I am pregnant. Cause right now, all it really looks like (if you had to guess) is that I've been eating too many capicola subs and drinking a ton of beer. Which is what I would absolutely love right now. UGH, can't have nothin.

Okay another thing that has changed - I have an odd new interest in attending baby showers?! Ha. In the past I have always been so not excited about attending those things...I didn't even want to go to my best friend's! But now that I too am pregnant I feel a sense of understanding and admiration for these parties. Babies are expensive, and cute...so why not shower mom-to-be with cute (maybe) stuff so they don't have to blow all their money on it all by themselves? Brilliant. 

At my bridal shower last year I was excited for it but felt completely uncomfortable being the center of attention during it, and opening all those gifts in front of everyone was even worse. I know my family will want to throw me a shower at some point and I have already decided that the invitation will read "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT WRAP YOUR GIFTS PLEASE," something about being green or whatever. No one wants to spend over an hour watching a grown adult do that anyway.  

And for my cousin's girlfriend's baby shower present, I even got all crafty. I bought a used sewing machine off of Craigslist recently, and here is my first official project. Not bad, huh? Taggie Blanket Tutorial

Taggie Blankie for Baby Jones

Thoughts on Baby Blogging

So as it turns out, I really, really am not good at blogging on a schedule. I feel like it's on my to-do list or something and lately I just see it as a chore that should be done...and I don't like chores. But I do like to write and keep updating this, so from now on I will just check in and write as I feel like it. Some weeks I may not write at all, while others I will post in a few times, depending on what's going on that week.

So right now I am halfway through eleven weeks. Just a couple more to go before we can stop keeping this pregnancy a big secret! That is surely exciting. I know some people choose to tell the world after 12 weeks but just to be on the safe side I want to wait til the end of week 13. We have another doctor's appointment coming up next Friday too, so I just want to make sure all is well in there before our entire family and all our friends find out.

A bunch of friends found out the other day, actually...at a bachelorette party I planned and attended. Obviously as I mentioned in a previous post it was a dead giveaway with the absence of me guzzling down beers as I normally would at one of these things. It was probably a little confusing because I look like I have been working on my beer belly a little more than normal, haha. I asked everyone there to keep it a secret, which I'm sure most will and a few wont, but that's fine. At this point we are almost in the safe zone and can hopefully breathe a big sigh of relief once I get to the 2nd trimester. C'mon September 8th, get here already!

Never before have I wanted for fall to come so bad. I mean, I love, loooooooove the fall, it's my favorite season. But this year it's different being pregnant. With the fall this year will come the second trimester, which everyone says is typically easier than the first for most women. The humidity will be down, the mosquitoes that have taken over our yard  from all the rain and heat will be dead, and the temperature will be just right. And I'm REALLY hoping my energy will reappear. Oh, and the thought of me sporting a cute little baby bump underneath cozy over sized sweaters is just such a nice mental image. I picture myself strolling around in the fresh crisp air with my boots crunching through the dead leaves on the sidewalks, sipping hot cider and feeling oh-so-mother-earthly. I'd make a good mother earth, huh? Here's hoping.

As far as how I'm feeling these days, it's kind of hit or miss. Some days I'm feeling great and not even like I'm pregnant, and others I just drag myself around, waiting for the end of the day to come. That sounds really depressing but it's kind of true. Work is hard. Being a massage therapist, I'm on my feet all day long at work and sometimes don't get to rest for 4 to 5 hours. I am a bit nervous as to how massaging is going to go once I get really big, but I guess I'll just have to cross that bridge when I come to it. I know other LMTs who have worked up until the day they went into labor, and on the opposite end, some who have had to get pulled out of work months before their maternity leave was supposed to start. I'm kind of aiming for things to go as planned - work up until the week or two before baby comes. But we all know how that goes. Life usually has other plans. If I have to go out of work early we will just have to figure things out and in the meantime save as much money as we can. Money - booooooooooooooo - I hate you.

Other current symptoms and factoids to share so far:

- Spandex waistbands are amazing.
- The baby is the size of a small lemon or large lime.
- Heartburn can be caused from eating or drinking anything.
- The baby now has fingers, toes, and even (soft) nails, just to name a few new things.
- It's nearly impossible to sleep on my side all night.
- It's nearly impossible to sleep through the night, period anymore.
- Prenatal massages done side-lying are AMAZING.
- My uterus is about the size of a grapefruit.
- My #1 craving is fruit.
- My #1 food aversion is meat (with the exception of cold cuts, which I'm not supposed to have, of course)
- I have gained 3-ish pounds.
- My skin is breaking out like I'm going through puberty all over again.
- Cramping is still going on.
- Those who smelt it dealt it, k?

11 Weeks

Weeks Seven, Eight, and Nine

FrogBaby

Well, I clearly suck at pregnancy blogging. I missed two weeks - shit. I wish I had a solid explanation that excused my tardiness but I really don't. Or maybe I do. I'm fricken pregnant okay, cut me some slack!

With that said, I can definitely say that the past few weeks have been, interesting at the very least. I've had no motivation to do anything around the house, let alone sit at the computer and blog or whatever. All I pretty much have wanted to do is get through my workdays, come home, eat, watch Breaking Bad, and pass out. There you have it folks...pregnancy is tiring. Lucky for me though, this week I have THREE whole days off, so there is much more time for sleeping in, relaxing, cleaning the house, and blogging.

So. Want to know my number one pregnancy symptom? Wretchedness. Sheer, awful nasty like I-didn't know-I-was crabbiness. Poor Cody. Wait, poor me!

The mood swings started early on and have pretty much stayed at a consistent "PMS-On-Steroids" mode. Of course there have been great parts of my days where I find joy in regular activities and laugh and feel normal...but I've been noticeably angrier at anything life can possibly throw my way. From road rage to snapping at anyone who says something remotely unacceptable to me, to breaking down in near tears from just stubbing my toe. I feel so on edge most of the time, it's just not really like me. I want the old me back. Someone please tell me this gets better, because I have a long way to go (thirty weeks, but whose counting??). 

On a good note, by now I think it's safe to say that the dreaded morning sickness has skipped me, because luckily I haven't really felt anything yet. Well, once on my way to work recently I got a little twinge of nausea but I couldn't explain why it happened, and it went away within minutes. My mom never had any, so maybe what they say about this kind of stuff running in families is true. But then, again, my mother actually told me last night that she felt ecstatic during all of her pregnancies and loved every second of them. Meh.

So while I'm currently shoveling pretzel crackers dipped in queso dip into my mouth (don't judge), I should touch on my appetite these days. It's pretty fantastic. Like I said with the absence of nausea, I can continue my normal food-loving ways, but I eat a lot more now. I feel like I need to keep snacking all day long in order to keep my stomach from getting too empty, which sends me into a weird antsy state that I really don't like. It's almost as if I can get a little shaky if I don't have something in my stomach. I have always been like that but it's much worse now that I'm pregnant. Must feed baby, all the time.

I'm trying to eat healthy but the thought of eating some foods like spinach, and steak (most meats actually), is gross. So I'm eating as healthy as possible while avoiding things that just don't sound good. Yesterday I ate chicken tenders and ice cream for lunch (again - no judgement please).

I always thought that since I'm quite the foodie and lover of weird food combinations (chips and milk, anyone?) that when I'd get pregnant someday my appetite would reflect that and I'd be still craving epicurean delights times a thousand. But no, no, no. For the most part, my palette has reverted back to one of a picky six year old's. I'm finding myself wanting grilled cheese, cereal, PB & J's, mac and cheese, and milk, tons of milk. In fact, one of the weirdest things I find myself doing almost every morning is waking up around five am and getting up for a glass of milk. I think it's because I'm hungry at that time, but it's much too early to eat (or wake up for that matter) and milk kind of satisfies my appetite til I get up. But really, milk? Before pregnancy I hated drinking milk. Now we are going through at least a gallon a week. So weird...

And the most exciting news -

Last week we had our first doctor's appointment and got to see the baby on a sonogram, and heard it's super-fast and thumping loud heartbeat! That was probably one of the coolest things I've ever gotten to experience in person, and it made me feel so much better immediately. He looked cozy and content in there, kind of like, "Oh hey guys, what's goin on out there? I'm just chillin." 

Also the lady giving us our sonogram said everything looked great and oohed and awwed at the little thing over and over again. Getting to see and hear it made if feel so much more real. And I must say, it's a really cute little thing. Kind of looks like a frog in the picture, but on the screen in person I think I could see a teeny tiny human-looking thing in there. So, so cool. 

(Oh, and our due date is March 15th, or the Ides Of March. I hope it's accurate, so our baby can say cool things like that)  

After the sono, we had a long chat with the doctor who was on that day...he seems really nice and it was a pleasant surprise to find out how much time he was willing to spend with us answering any questions or concerns we had. For whatever reason I had this idea in my head that doctors are busy people who really don't feel like talking much or getting too personal with their patients. Glad that one was proven wrong last week. We are really looking forward to our next appointment in September, and all the other ones after that. I need an official person to make sure everything is going good in there. I find it hard to believe that there is really no way of knowing what's happening in my uterus. Why can't there just be a window, like an oven?

Just taking one day at a time and reading about how much the little thing (technically, this week that "thing" is also known as a fetus) is growing each day...it's just so amazing and unbelievable. I need to keep telling myself that my body is doing what it is made to do. It's the most comforting thought I've had so far, so works for me.

See you next week - I promise!!!!

Week Six

Well not really much has changed over the last week...

Some good news I have to share though is that my headaches have calmed down a bit and are only here and there now, not ALL day long. Thank GOD. I am trying very hard not to take any sort of medicine unless absolutely necessary for the baby's sake. So far doing good with just one Tylenol last week to curb a terrible all-day headache while my sister was in town with her boyfriend. 

Speaking of that, we got to spread the news to her in the funniest way, similar to this - 
How To Announce A Pregnancy

It was HILARIOUS...especially when she looked in the oven, found a hamburger bun inside, and said, "A roll?? Why is there a ROLL in the oven??!" Then she got it. I just knew that's how she would react, no one calls rolls buns around here unless they are covered with cinnamon and icing. 

So more people know our little secret now, including my brother and father, who are both very excited to be welcoming a new addition to the family. The more people we tell, the more exciting and real everything feels. I must say it's pretty tough to feel like I'm making life inside me when I haven't even gone to the doctor's yet to get it all confirmed with a professional stamp of YesYourDefinitelyPreggers approval (they do that, right?). Seeing what's growing in my belly on a sonogram, as tiny as it may be, will surely help solidify the new excitement and wonder that is pregnancy. All we can do is wait for the next week and a half for our appointment...August 6th! 

I really cannot wait to be able to tell my friends. I have been a bit of a shut-in since we found out, and I'm starting to get a little cabin fever. I would be a bit more social but honestly, if you know me, you know I LOVE to drink beer. In the sunshine, or inside on a rainy day, or in the middle of a snowstorm, or in a desert, on a boat, a beach, etc. And it has been very nice out. Definitely good beer drinking weather.  

The few people who we regularly hang out with will definitely know something's up if they see me sitting on their patio drinking water or ginger ale instead of a delicious frosty beer. Yes, I could just lie and say I don't feel good or am on medication that can't be mixed with booze, but I'm a bad liar. Instead I'm just avoiding the awkward lying by not leaving the house to socialize right now after about four or five pm ("typical" happy hour start). I don't want to spill the beans too early. I at least want to get to our first prenatal appointment to make sure everything is fine before we tell any friends.

And that's another thing. Why is it that no one ever seemed to mention how uncomfortable the not knowing what's going on in there is in pregnancy? Of the handful of pregnant friends and associates I've had, I've only heard one speak of worrying about whether or not the baby is growing three heads or something. And that was just a couple of weeks before we found out we were expecting. Maybe they did talk about it and I was just too oblivious to notice. Or perhaps it's just me, being the typical worrisome over-thinking person that I am. Or maybe it's just one of those things people don't really like to talk about, and for good reason. 

I have to admit I'm pretty scared that something may be wrong with our little bundle. It's not like I'm getting a weird hunch that something IS wrong or something...it's more of just the fear of the unknown, like I wrote about when we first found out we were pregnant. I hate not knowing!

The more I read about testing for birth defects like Trisomy 18 and Downs Syndrome, the more scared and nervous I get. I guess I should stop doing that, huh. Damn you, internet. And according to the internet, these types of worries are very common and everyone has something to say about them. 

For me personally I just don't think I want to even get those tests done. If something is wrong with our baby I would rather not know about it until it happens, and deal with it then. But it sure would be relieving to have the screening done and get a negative result on the other hand. Hopefully our doctors will talk us through all of this. I have heard the testing process is all pretty expensive too, so that I'm sure will also be a deciding factor. 

Some more good news - we got a new bed - king size! My father's girlfriend was getting rid of it and gave it to us. Couldn't have come at a better time. As much as I love snuggling with Cody and the dogs (yes - we are crate-training failures and I don't care who knows it), it is SOOOOOO nice to also have the option of not touching at all. I can't believe we used to sleep in a full size bed in our first apartment together. Even a queen felt big after we finally upgraged to that two years ago. So the king is where it's at. It's definitely helping with the adjustment of training myself to sleep on my side, and the new mattress is much softer than our old one, which I think is helping my back.

So if you need to find me, you'll know where I'll be much of the time - especially once fall comes - snuggled up in bed, watching the new Netflix list I made specifically to get me through some of the next eight month's boring moments (or hours). Helloooooo, Lost/Grey's Anatamy/Dexter/Law & Order SVU...anyone have any other suggestions??? 





  

Week Five

My first baby purchase today from the farmer's market.
We are having a gender neutral flower child.
That is all. 

Well, it's been over a week and half now since we've learned the big news of our brand spankin' new pregnancy, and so far so good! 

The initial shock factor is still a little fresh, but it's totally real, and sinking in. I finally tossed the two pregnancy tests I took, which sat on the bathroom counter for almost a week. For whatever reason I needed to leave them out in plain view for awhile before getting them outta there. So yeah, baby time: sinking in. 

However, I think I keep forgetting we're having a baby overnight. I have been sleeping SOOOOO deliciously well (I imagine that has to do with the absence of any alcohol before bedtime). But I keep waking up each morning with a new feeling of excitement and confusion. Like when you're not really quite awake yet and you wonder if the fuzzy thoughts first on your mind are dream-related. Or are they actually real? Yeah, something like that, and yep, uh-huh. They Really. Are. Real. We made a baby.

Not much has changed symptom-wise for me so far. My boobs still ache to high heaven and I'm pretty crampy in my abdominal region...very much like my regular old PMS. I can deal with that. 

The one thing that's really quite pronounced are the mind crushing "flash" headaches I keep getting on and off. I call them flashy because they literally flash through my head, coming on so quick and then gone within seconds. They suck. 

My mood is also a little, welllllll, off to say the least. I don't know if it's the hormones or the stress of coming to terms with such a big change (I think they call this the "good kind" of stress), but I've been losing my cool very quickly. Most of what I'm pissing and moaning about is puppy/dog related, because they're constantly playing with each other. And by playing I mean frantically chasing each other all over the house, knocking things over, growling, biting, and making each other squeal, and of course backing one another underneath my computer desk whenever I'm sitting at it. And lets not forget the puppy pee and poop, ALL DAY LONG. It's everywhere. We go through a roll of paper towels every other day! So I guess this is good practice for our future eh?

So we told a few people about our little secret. First of all we made an appointment for our first prenatal visit. Since I haven't been to the doctor in years and my old family practitioner is about thirty minutes away from us we decided it'd be best to start fresh and find a new one. So we did some research and chose the practice with the most informative and updated website in our area, that participates with my insurance. It's a group practice (meaning I will have four doctors) and they were very helpful over the phone, and it's literally a five minute drive from our house to the office. I read that choosing your OB should be a very careful and choosy process but honestly I just want to go to the first appointment and see how it feels once we are there and talking to them. I really can't see ourselves sitting down and "interviewing" the doctors about their background and education and moral and ethical values. 

We have also told two close friends and our parents. Everyone is excited and they are all sworn to secrecy since it is still very early (5 weeks). My sister is coming to visit this weekend and we are going to tell her the good news right away...she is going to flip her shit. Can't wait!

  
   

Tiny Human

There's a tiny human in there  

Woah. 

Holy. Crap. 

Yeah, it's really, finally happened. It sounds so strange to even THINK the words in my head as I type this. 

A "happy little accident" is what they call it right? Or is that not right to say? Because, well, clearly some day our little 14 year old brat will stumble upon this blog, read it, and think/know that he was an accident?!!!? Oh God, listen to me. I'm insane. And yes, I am calling it a him. Don't ask me why.

I am so scared. This is the SCARIEST thing ever!

The kind of stuff that truly scares the bejesus out of me is the not knowing stuff. I am pretty much the biggest control-freak-need-to-plan-write-everything-down-list-making person I know. I hate not knowing. 

One thing I do know though, is that I pretty much knew I was pregnant before I took this test. When I woke up three days ago and realized I was just a teeny bit later than normal this month, my boobs were aching, I was crampy, and my hormones were raging out of control, I decided to take a pregnancy test, just in case. "Sure, it's probably just my period" I thought, but a little voice inside me also said that there's a big chance there would be two little lines on it. I just felt different. I was really nervous when I took it. Like, heart pounding out of my chest nervous. And while I waited for the result to develop, I took comfort in the waiting period by lying in the fetal position on the bathmat. 

I got up. Two lines! Following a mini heart attack, I showed baby daddy the test and we hugged and then had a long, happily nervous chat in bed. We said things like, "This is a good thing!" and "Everything is going to be okay," and "You have nine months to get used to it." You know, all of those things that people say when they don't know just what to say. Surprisingly they were all oddly nice to hear. It was really very reassuring to have his support and open ears and arms just to lean on right then. We stayed in bed most of the morning watching Netflix, letting it all sink in with our minds on autopilot. 

We kind of knew this was going to happen, but just didn't expect it to happen so incredibly soon.     

After all, for the last couple of months we have been "NOT Not Trying." That is the name I gave having sex and doing absolutely nothing to prevent making a tiny human. And when I said that out loud my husband laughed and said "the moment we start 'NOT Not Trying' is the second we start trying." 

We both had a good laugh and didn't speak anymore of it.

I really can't believe it only took like, um....a month or so of NOT Not Trying to actually conceive!!!

So now that the initial shock has worn off, we are beginning our journey as parents together one day at a time. 

We have googled a hundred pregnancy related things already, and put a halt on a porch painting project that I wanted to get done this week because fumes are bad and all for pregos. He is not letting me clean the cat litter due to some weird thing about how cat turds are toxic (score), and also told me not to clean the bathroom because the cleansers we use are nasty and also toxic (score again). I've been chugging water all day long and snacking a lot and inspecting my belly often to see if I can notice even the slightest change (so far, it's the same...thank god). And cleaning anything I can; it seems to distract me from processing or even thinking all the mind-blowing thoughts I seem to be having right now. 

A doctor's appointment has been made (Aug 6th), and a plan to alert the fam and close friends is in the works. It's still really early. They said I am about four weeks along, so we're keeping it very hush-hush until further notice... 

...Which is really why I felt the need to write this blog. I should probably be working on reading the huge baby books I checked out of the library yesterday or potty training the new BABY PUPPY we just got (yeah, for real - wonderful timing, haha), but I just needed to get this big news out somehow. 

And for now I will keep chugging water and snacking and scrubbing, and snuggling my boys (dog children) and telling myself that everything...will be just fine.